Expresshole


An expresshole is someone who uses the express lane to check out... and has more than ten items. You know, the charmer who has 31 items (36 if you count the 6 pack of Tab soda as individual items), checkbook in hand, searching languidly for a pen in the mysterious depths of her pleather purse.

Expressholism is a problem. It's a problem because it is an act of selfish disregard. Disregard for the other patrons, presumably holding ten-or-less items, and disregard for the cashier who must endure the brunt of the ten-or-less patrons' anger at being inconvenienced.

So, what do we do about expressholism? Since I have yet to meet anyone who actually has telekinesis... I guess dislodging them from line and tossing them into the parking lot atop their AMC Pacer is an impossibility. Of course, that, in itself, would be incredibly rude and is not the road we wish to take as promoters of good etiquette.

In lieu of telekinesis I opt for glowering. A good glare and a little brow-knitting. Not as effective as invisibly catapulting the offending party from the queue... but it does make your opinion of expressholism known. Of course, you do not want to employ this technique if the expresshole is a hulking, prison- tattooed Goliath who might wait for you in the parking lot. Naturally you will want to utilize your glower-of-disapproval strictly with the AARP card-holder demographic.. And, even then, you are taking the chance of physical peril.

Expressholes fall into a category of people I lovingly refer to as 'pigs-of-life'.

That said, the best way to combat expressholism is by not being one.