The “B Word”

My dearest friend was recently subjected to what can only be described as a sophomoric attempt at critical writing. In short, her blog was assessed by someone who, despite the appearance and journalistic qualities of their own blog, felt that they were in the lofty position of blog critic. I am a big supporter of personal opinion. I am not about to tell anyone that they are not entitled to their own opinion. And disliking another’s blog is, well, common and to be expected.

What did tweak my interest in this critic’s (when reading critic please roll eyes) blog was a prevalence of foul language and a shoddy writing style. Upon closer examination I found not a few annoying tidbits that I would like to reference:

I’ve mentioned the foul language. Of course, I have had my moments with the zestier vernaculars. I am not without fault. And I do think that there are moments when the correctly chosen curse-word can add a bit of flair to one’s writing. A pinch of spice, a blush-producing adjective, etc. But let’s not over do it... get a thesaurus if you are struggling that hard to come up with something.

Style. Oh yes. As you can see I have chosen the most basic of templates as I am more interested in expressing my opinion than putting on a bandwagoneer’s tacky anime display. And speaking of display, what is with these ridiculous caricatures that people are using to represent themselves... yeah, honey, I am sure you look just like that *snicker*. Let’s not kid ourselves.

Finally, why do women persist on calling themselves bitches? (and no, I don't mean saying that you feel bitchy) It’s so pathetic. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a positive connotation to that term. You tell yourself that being a bitch is a quality to be revered, and that somehow it translates to independence. Women who constantly refer to themselves as bitches, and with such zeal, are perpetuating a negative concept.

Calling yourself a bitch does not empower you; it reduces you to a sad little cog in a wheel of stereotypical ‘broads’ that troll around in t-shirts that say, 10% angel 90% bitch or some such nonsense. And for whatever reason, there seems to be a lot of you wearing these shirts.

Oh and the picture on this post? It's a lemming.

Being a mother of two young girls I have become concerned over the 'types' of women that are being pushed down our society's throat as being ideal. It starts, the brainwashing, at a very young age. Yes, yes, I know... Evil Barbie, blah, blah, blah. I don't really have much of a hard-on for Barbie anymore, though. She seems quite innocuous when up against the new, and quite formidable, Bratz dolls. The Bratz dolls are fashionistas (lazy gold-diggers) with bee-stung lips (deformed pillows of gloss-laden flesh) that hang out (whore around). At least Barbie, who has been attacked by feminists without mercy, had the occasional job. Okay, so it was as a flight attendant. It's a job.

In addition to pumping out trashy toy role-models to our tykes, we have to withstand the trashy, and sometimes lifelike, Paris Hilton. Oh, and the Olsen twits, I mean twins. And Lindsay Lohan. Britney Spears. Jessica Simpson. Good God. I am surprised that after listing all of that in quick succession that I have not somehow performed a summoning ritual for the anti-Christ.

Let's face it, these women are hideous wastes of flesh. They are hideous and they are constantly being paraded about our newstands and televisions (people actual waste their time watching Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie assume blue-collar jobs). They are white, too skinny, filthy rich, and questionable in their moral behaviors. What they have not exhibited is moral fiber, intelligence, and personal restraint.

Children are impressionable. They should love themselves and not feel compelled by a shallow, Hollywood-obsessed, commercialized nation that they are not good enough until they have less than 10% body fat, bee-stung lips, veneers, and a closet full of the latest fads.

Stop watching, reading, and buying trash... Let the companies who's pockets runneth over know that your standards are higher than this.

Don't Eat Out, Cheap-Ass

Maybe it's the area that I live in, or maybe it's a commonality now... but people seem to have become shitty tippers. I see, more often than not, tips that average in the 5% range. Of course, I am not eyeballing the next table's bill, but I can certainly rough up an estimate with a quick glance at their number, ordered items, and beverages. Especially if it is a restaurant that I frequent.

Recently, while picking up a 'to go' order at my favorite Mexican restaurant, I did get a gander at someone's bill (as they were standing next to me and slapped it onto the counter in plain view). The bill was for nearly $40. The tip? He left $1.38 (wrote it onto the charge slip). $1.38. That's like a 3.5 percent tip. What the hell? I eat at this place ALL the time and know that the service is wonderful. I have never had a single incidence of poor service or poor quality of food in all the times that I have dined at this restaurant. $1.38.

In my shock, I asked the cashier/waiter about the tip. He looked at me with such relief. He seemed so happy that someone actually noticed and cared. He went on to tell me that it is common, at least in his experience at that restaurant, to receive egregious tips. He, too, was incredulous and went on to say, "and the food is so inexpensive".

$1.38.

I understand that if the service is terrible... no tip. Complain to the manager. But when the service is great, tip accordingly. 20% is a nice tip for good service. If you are going to leave less than 15% for good service, don't go out. Stay home and eat a Totino's.

In addition, for those of you who like buffets, you still tip. No, not 20% - the general rule is $1 per glass. So, for you slow-learners, that means that if you sit down to your buffet style dinner and a server is refilling your beverage for you, you should leave a dollar for that service. That means that if there are 4 of you at the buffet, regardless of the number of drink refills you receive, you should leave $4. Got it? Good.

Now, let's get out there and act like thoughtful and informed diners.